Okay, so here’s the thing… “Drive-Thru” is not a good movie. The apologist will point to its goofy locker room humor, its ‘rip-off’ homage and endearing lead actress and relate them all to an age when films didn’t have to be complex nor cutting edge funny. But to accept this ‘dumbed down’ vein of lazy and derivative filmmaking is to allow the onset of irreversible decay.
Do we really want these thinly wrapped clones to become the definition of modern day horror? Has it really got to a point where simply tossing a beautiful cast into a blender with an unstoppable maniac and a handful of sharp implements is all that the budding horror filmmaker need bring to the table? Its been done and done and done and done. Its even been done well. But here, at the Drive-Thru, tag-team directors Brendan Cowles and Shane Kuhn they done bad.
An Unfunny Comedy of Errors
Arguably the most prevalent of Drive-Thru’s problems is its quivering and non-committed tone. Its actors are restrained and awkward as they spit out there supposedly humorous lines. It all has the feel of an unpolished pre-production run through, and that’s hardly ever a good thing. There are laughs to be mined here, but these soon dry up and fade into the boringly repetitive. The gangbanger white rap thing that opens the show being but one perfect example. Starting off with a hiss and a roar it is overblown, offensive and yet laughably cool, but it soon over steps its appeal and spirals into nasty edged juvenile stupidity.
A synopsis of this film is for the most part a redundant notion, but what the hell… stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A group of teens is hunted down (one by one) by a homicidal maniac, his motive you ask? Well, for those who haven’t seen Drive -Thru, all I can say is (cough) “A Nightmare on Elm Street”. They meet, they drink, they smoke, they have sex and they die. But don’t worry parents most all the naughty bits, violence included, happens off screen. What little gore that is on show is cartoon and contrived. Just witness the ‘head in the microwave’ gag to truly get a feel for how much regard this film doesn’t have for its audience.
Yo-Yo 'Horny' the Clown Don’t Play Dat
The films entire premise revolves around a fast food burger joint, the aptly monikered 'Hella Burger'. If you get really bored (and you will) you can while away your 83 minutes counting exactly how many times its name is uttered. Warning: Probably best not used as part of a drinking game.
This review may sound a little on the negative side but it really is a hard ask to find anything here of redeeming value. From its painfully drawn out opening credits, though an equally drawn out musical interlude and into the body of a beast that hasn’t but one bone of originality there is precious little to recommend. 'Horny' the Clown, I did like Horny. As signature horror villains go he was again over stuffed on the stereotypical, but he did have something.
I think it was the way he moved, exaggerated and posturing, or maybe it was his cleverly envisioned mask; replete with Drive Thru microphone-cover mouthpiece. Played with some flair by Van De La Plante, it is always of credit when an actor can project a performance from beneath layers of costume and makeup. Gossip Girl Leighton Meester (The Roommate) arrives with her now trademark charm, but it is duly slapped down as she both receives and delivers some of the most inane dialog you will ever have the misfortune to endure. Also of note is a cameo by Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock, here as hapless burger flipper ‘Robbie’ – now isn’t that a coincidence.
Drive-Thru Sequel
I guess Drive-Thru is supposed to be a spoof, something that the dictionary tells us is a mocking imitation of someone or something, a lampoon or parody. It says nothing about having to actually be clever, imaginative or funny (or entertaining for that matter), so a spoof it most probably is. And as with all terrible films there is vicious rumor circulating that a sequel is also now to be had “Drive-Thru 2: The Nightmare Is Just Beginning”, again aptly titled, but please say it isn’t so.
Drive-Thru
Tagline: At Hella Burger, it won't be the food that kills you... but you'll wish it did.
- Directors … Brendan Cowles, Shane Kuhn
- Writers … Brendan Cowles, Shane Kuhn
- Cast: Leighton Meester as Mackenzie Carpenter, Nicholas D'Agosto as Fisher Kent, Melora Hardin as Marcia Carpenter, Lola Glaudini as Detective Chase, Larry Joe Campbell as Detective Crockers, Van De La Plante as Horny the Clown/Archie Benjamin, Morgan Spurlock as Robbie.
- DVD Release Date … May 29, 2007 (US)
- Runtime … 83 minutes
- Armada Pictures, Lions Gate Films, Prospect Pictures
- View Trailer: Drive-Thru
Hari Navarro - Hari Navarro is Topic Editor for Suite 101's Horror Film section and Editor/ Writer at online horror review site, The Hell Street ...
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